You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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