I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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