why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
