first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
