btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
