He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
