Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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