Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
