Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
