thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
