Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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