she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize