going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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