i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
