Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
