the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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