no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
