I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
