For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
