just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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