just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we should paint friendship bongs
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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