I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My vagina is officially offended.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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