he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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