Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
