I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
