Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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