My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize