By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
