I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
