At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
