Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So squirting runs in the family.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
