the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
