I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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