What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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