READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My ATM looks so different sober.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
