Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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