Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
