Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
