dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
