Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just google imaged poop.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
