I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
