"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
