At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize