the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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