"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
