So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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