We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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