OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
