is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
