Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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