So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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