When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
