Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
