In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
