i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
