Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You smell like stripper and shame
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
