you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize