I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
A+ Viking dick
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
