i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
