i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Four minutes until I can fart!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
