fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
