Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize