hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize