D3 body, D1 cock
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
