my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
