She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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