Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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