on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
