I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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