This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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