she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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