If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I smell stomach acid.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
