Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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