what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
