when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
