I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
