He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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