I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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