yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize