I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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