everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
